going gray

June 16, 2008 at 8:41 pm (books, domestic life) (, )

In this book, Anne Kreamer ( her web site ) discusses and explores all the ramifications of choosing to go gray. On he back cover of her book, she has a before and after picture of herself. This book was recommended by a friend at a good time, because hair color maintenance bugs me. Since my hairdresser comes to my house every six to eight weeks–it just isn’t exactly what I want to be doing with my time. Things I learned from this book.

1)Woman care much more about gray hair then men. Really. Men like woman that look real and confident . ( the author used some dating sites and came up with some interesting results)

2)In the career world/corporate world – gray matters. As in it is bad. But that might be due to number 3

3) Part of why we dye our hair is because we have a certain image of ourselves. and even though we age, that image doesn’t change. Hairstyle and clothes stay the same. So going gray – but not changing the rest of our style is what gives us the dowdy ,run down look. And not changing your hair or hairstyle — well, that does it too.

I am way guilty of that one. for years I refused to cut my hair shorter- because I thought as a kid it looked dumb. Might have then,but it looks good now.

4) Women don’t seem to know or admit why they color their hair.

Huh. I know exactly why. Until I had this shock of gray hair no one ever believed my age.With the gray, someone thought I was 10 yrs older than I was. No fun. Now as I was at my heaviest and it was before I was diagnosed with diabetes , there may have been other factors. But no one believes I am 45 when the grays are covered.

Still not sure what I am going to do, but more to think about it.

Over all I enjoyed the book. It talked a lot about getting older with out being too self indulgent. I think the author learned some stuff about her own thinking ,but wrote broadly enough that there were places for allof us that dye our hair to think about it a little bit.


  1. danieBOB said,

    I don’t have to worry about being gray yet, but even when I start to go gray I don’t think I’ll cover it up. It simply takes too much time, money, and effort to keep the coloring up. I tried really hard for a while with highlites and stuff… but I don’t have the patience for it.

  2. Kari said,

    Hair is a fashion accessory. There to be changed.

    While I haven’t read the book, here’s my counter argument to above: Men may not care about gray, but they don’t like baldness. It is more acceptable for men to go gray. It’s distinguishing. For women, it’s just aging. Some wrinkles are acceptable on men, not so much with women.

    Second counter: Gray at 20 something and having to dress to fit your natural hair color is off. Who was that teacher in high school who was prematurely gray??

    To color or to go gray, it’s a personal choice. I think it comes down to confidence. If you’re confident with your appearance it shows. Dowdiness while partly fashion is also a state of mind.

    As for the time required to get my hair done, I haven’t always embraced that. When a friend dyed my hair, it was an opportunity to sit around and gab. We’d have breakfast at a diner and then go to her house and dye my hair. If I get it done at the hair dressers, it’s the opportunity to read gossip mags. I’ve begun to experience hairdressing as a renewal, not a chore. It’s a little pampering, getting my hair scrubbed and my look refreshed.

  3. egb63 said,

    Well, the numbers were there – men weren’t put off by gray hair.

    And as for dressing to match you hair – well, that why colors are ‘done’ . Not everyone seems to know that hair color changes the colors you can where. And if you do go grey — where the same clothes you wore 10 years just looks silly. Going gray doesn’t mean dress like a little old lady ( like that teacher in high school ), but you might look siilly if you dress like a teenager with a bare belly and a muffin top showing .

    And BTW, she wasn’t condeming anyone for coloring there hair – mostly she was astonished that it was such a big deal.

  4. jb said,

    I started highlighting my hair in my early to mid 20’s so the grey hairs would blend in. At 23/24/25, I was not ready to see so much grey in my hair.

    In my late 20’s, highlighting didn’t cut it anymore so I started coloring. Again, I wasn’t ready to have so much of my hair grey. Its a habit that I continue into my late 30’s. Someday, I’ll go natural, but I’m not there yet. Why? First, because I’m not ready to face that image in the mirror daily. Secondly, I have FUN with my hair.

    Hair is definitely a fashion accessory for me. I change my hairstyle about once every couple of years or so. Part of the “new-do” is also the color of the color with or without highlights.

    And, like Kari, the time I spend with Holly (my hairstylist for 10 years +) is ME time. Its time for me to be a GIRL. Time for People magazine, Vogue or whatever they have at the salon. Its time to be catty about how awful so-n-so looks in THAT dress. And I read the really sappy stories about a family coming back from a great tragedy.

    The 2 hours I spend on the road to and from my date with Holly is also ME time. Time for me to enjoy my MINI and my tunes, or listen to NPR or whatever feels good. I do this every 6 weeks or so. Sometimes, I dread the 4+ hours it takes out of my precious weekends. But that’s not the case after I finish my date with Holly.

    And DANG she makes my hair look good!

  5. DM said,

    I remember have this conversation a few years back. If you all are lucky you’ll be all white at 50 like the L. family. Women with pure white hair are ageless.

  6. egb63 said,

    If my hair was more evenly gray , I probably never would have done it.

  7. Hair « egb63’s Weblog said,

    […] 11, 2009 at 3:56 pm (domestic life, fun) Since this post, I haven’t colored my hair. Not out of any philisophical reason, but just because I […]

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