today is sad

April 2, 2010 at 5:49 pm (cats, domestic life) (, , , )

I got a call from my vet today saying “Andy has returned”. What they meant was that they had his ashes for me. But for someone that reads as much vampire fiction as I do , it was a tad freaky. I couldn’t go get his ashes today. I was just too sad. I miss my cat.

Lots of people have told me that I took great care of him. Which I appreciate. But I miss him and wouldn’t mind having him around. How ever good I was to him, or what ever happy place he maybe ; it doesn’t matter. I am sad for me , not him.

I keep thinking of two stories– Pet Cemetery is the first. Somehow it seems normal that if you come back, you come back wrong. Even if you believe in reincarnation – you don’t come back the same, but in a new form with new things to learn to take you forward on your journey. And then in BTVS, when they brought back Buffy the Scooby Gang made an illogical assumption – they assumed she was in Hell. Really , she was fighting true evil and sacrificed her life for her sister i don’t see Hell being the reward for that. But the Scooby gang had to make hat assumption in order to bring her back.

Anyway, today is sad. Grieving seems to be a self-center emotion. Which is ok. It just means ther isn’t much to do to fix it.

But I do have a question. I will shortly have three small boxes of cat ashes on the mantel. I think I need to do something else with them

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